First of 10 parts.
Explanatory Notes: Ketan
is a person who has a large amount .... no, infinite hair all over his
body - something which makes him and me (I have equivalent hair of half
a Ketan) proud. Please compare the Hairy table to King Arthur's Round Table.....
Qualifications to become
a member of the HAIRS (Hairy Table) i.e.: a Lord or at least an Earl, are:
#1>You must have hair
on your body where most don't.
#2>You must have lots
of it
Loyola was the name
of the school in which the persons featured below studied????? and became
educated??????.
To find out more about
the Hair Maniacs .. a group affiliated to the Hairs ... run by two of the
founding fathers of the Hairs , visit
here:-
For
more info, keep watching the site for the address of Harry and his Hairy
Table.
Lord Ketan, The King (currently Prince because he isn't yet of marrying age) of Hair-a-lot (Arthur's Camelot)... Also known as Woolly.
Also known as Harry, The Prince of Hairs (Well, not exactly -exaggeration), this man was a master of disguise who could disguise himself as a Bear or an Ox. However, he was known to 'our' group as Harry: a derivation from Hairy which was obviously the name of his Species. Legend Has It that he had enough hair on his body to clothe 79,87,39,84,75,98,98,92,83,49,89,82,49,87,69,87,93,48,56,988 people in trousers if the hair was ever woven into trousers. It is learnt from reliable sources that the above is an overstatement. Theoretically, the no of people was proven to be 79,87,39,84,75,98,98,92,83,49,87,69,87,93,48,56,987 in a project funded by the US Govt, which was never revealed to the public due to the chances of the national security of the US of A* being compromised. This guy was a very interesting character. A case of split personality, if I may say so. One moment he would seem to be a Tory and the next moment he would be the right hand man of Tony Blair. One could never predict his temper or his reactions or ,for that matter, his hair length. I gather that he is doing Commerce and I do hope he succeeds in what I think his dream is.... to lead all the Hairs of the world against the Hairs Not and Braun (R).
* US of A is a certain country in some
distant part of the world whose people want their president to campaign
for Viagra. Also known for its distinct national art- its graffiti, this
country's security can be compromised by anyone and anything and hence
they want to destroy anyone and anything.
Sir Sushant (Adam)
Also known as Khanne, Channe, Ganne and Adam (not Adam * from the Bible... pleease; I can't imagine his being our ancestor). Legend Has It that he was called Adam because he resembled Adamkhor- a terrorist. A tall guy, he was famous for his nagging habit of bullying small kids into handing over their wada-pavs (And People say Bhiku Mhatre** was original) {He's going to kill me for writing this -Ed} This person was a total cricket freak. He was a walking, talking book of records on cricket. Legend Has It than he could put the Wills yearbook to shame. He was one of the famed Knights of the Hairy table which was presided over by Harry.
* Adam was supposed to be the first man on earth. This story is being used by NASA to build nuclear reactors which are 109780938475983749857987283475 % efficient. However, due to the risk of the national security of the US of A being compromised, the project was never revealed.
** Bhiku Mhatre was a fictional character
from a movie called Satya who extorted money from the rich in Bombay.
Prashant, The Earl of Sweaty-and-corrosive (anti adam)
Another member of the Hairs, this person sweats enough in a day to water all vegetation in ragasthan for a millennium. Only, the liquid is extremely saline and corrosive. Legend Has It that Prashant, in one of his earlier lives, was a sea fairer. This theory is being considered by scientists at NASA to be the most sensible one accounting for the salinity of the sea and also the Mount Everest. However, we cannot reveal the complete theory because it hasn't been released. Releasing it will compromise national security of the US of A. Prashant was the chancellor of the exchequer in the rule of Harry. Currently, he is being considered by the Iraqis' to be the heir apparent to Saddam. We can only pray for the Iraqis'.He was completely opposed by Sir Sushant who is currently being considered by Yanks to be a successor to Bill Clinton ***.
*** A certain President of a certain Country
who was catapulted into limelight by a selfless woman???? known in some
circles as Monica and She Devil in others.
Sir Pramod (I-have-no-nickname for this person)
This dude was on a psychological level of his own (I don't mean psychic, I mean psychological: Sorry Pramod, but life's life- Ed) He is remembered for his exceptional hatred for authority. In the Battle Of The Vice Principal's room, while displaying great courage and determination, he shut the Vice Principal * in his own Toilet.. This act of bravery ,and what not, is remembered as the Scots' remember Sir William Wallace * * and The Battle of Stirling. He was also known to silently oppose the many she devils who worked at the Castle of the Loyolites****.
* Vice Principal - A very powerful IMP who charged the plebes for coming late into the castle and other things. He always threatened Sir Pramod with a form of torture known as THE PINK CARD. The very mention of this horrible, abominable, atrocious, awful, dreadful, horrendous, unspeakably wicked form of torture was enough to strike terror in the hearts of countless plebes. However, in their final days in the castle, Harry, Sir Pramod and the other Knights of the Hairy table rose in revolt against this loathsome, nauseating, offensive and vile IMP and kicked his butt.
** What? You don't know Sir William Wallace? Where were you when Braveheart was released? Go and see the movie. 'Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once!'.
*** Read the above explanation and see Braveheart.
**** If ya doesn't know Loyola, then you
must be illiterate.
Lord Kapil (One Half of the hair maniacs) Email at:mailto:[email protected]
A complete hair* freak, Australia is to him what England is to me - don't ask me what England is to me, I haven't figured that out yet, hey;no one's perfect. This chap always had a very whacky hairstyle and is what Versace is to Design. He was never on the hairy table because of failing the most obvious test. However, he floated his own kingdom along with a certain Lord Shaunak** and ruled happily for ever. His hairstyle was being studied by NASA and is now incorporated into their heat shields *** on their space ships. However, this has never been revealed due to the obvious chance of compromising National security of the US of A.
* Hair is that part of the body which makes up the exoskeleton. Not seen in some varieties of humans like Tony Viagula, Anupam Kher Mrs Poddar (Naah she has about 51 hairs on her head).
** Has a separate entry in this Garbage dump.
*** Heat Shields are the coverings on
space ships which withstand immense amounts of heat.
Vidyut ,Serf
A complete ordinary freak who baffled everyone by living past the age of 15. Currently studying in modern college, this person is fighting back against the offensive rule of Harry. However, Harry and Vidyut are pals. Vidyut was one of the contenders for the award "The Golden Hair Award for best supporting role". Generally, he has quite a good temper. However, when in company of certain obnoxious elements ,he resembles a pissed off jack arse. He is known to have delusions about his face resembling Tom Caruise*. However, we have better reason to believe nay be sure that this Tom will not impress Nicole Kidsman**.
* Star of Top Gunn (No this is not supposed to be a campaign line for Viagra)
** Star actress in Batman for ever, known
to cause accidents and has been advised to stay off the streets of any
and every city.
Baroness Ameya
A very-studious human being known far and wide for flunking the test of the hairy table sine die, ad nauseum et al. He was always made fun of (not that I am complaining or anything, but what the heck!). This guy could put Ginger Spice to shame over his figure. (Not that Ginger Spice has a very good figure, but this Human was in a boys only school for god's sake!) After having struggled for centuries, he/she/it was raised to peerage by someone who had no authority- Harry. (I made this up, but, I had to cover up for the title of baroness, didn't I?)
* Someone who isn't that any more. If
you don't know what or who I am writing about, go suck an egg.
Sir Saurabh (Yo-I-am-the-coolest-person-in-the-universe)
This exceptional living organism was Knighted by Harry in 199?. Though not qualified for the Hairs, this person was knighted because of his exceptional loyalty to The Castle Loyola. A self proclaimed 'Partial Arts'* expert, this knight always saw a boxing bag in the form of lesser mortals and, sometimes, in the form of fellow knights and some peers. Especially Lord Shaunak... who always thanks the stars he didn't join Saurabh's college. He always managed to fool the enemies (Also known as teachers in some cultures) into thinking that he was on their side when ,infact, he was not on their side which they of course did not know because he made sure that they did not know and hence kept his dual nature a secret. He was always suspected of having links with the Mafia, the IRA, the New World Order, The Taliban, the FBI, the CIA and other such terrorist organisations.** He was last seen in the company of Osama Bin Laden (No he wasn't. I was just kidding about him and the orgs listed before)
* Partial Arts- Heck I don't know what it is
** Mafia:- Rated as XXXX, IRA:- Rated
as XXXXX, New World Order (I made this up), Taliban:-Rated as XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX,
The FBI:- Rated as XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX,
The CIA:- Rated as XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lord Shaunak
A totally Screwed Person having a totally screwed mind. He was one of the founding members of the Hairs, The Hairy Table and The Hair maniacs. This dude was totally in love with England* and all things English**. For this reason, he had to fight a lone battle at the Hairy Table. He was totally cornered by Sir Pramod , Harry and Sir Saurabh. He was always under the impression that he was very intelligent but not handsome...thankfully, the first is true and the second is false.... he is intelligent because he wrote this and he's handsome because he is. You can email him at EMAIL HERE for a photograph. He was renowned for his outspokenness which was observed only when the topic of discussion was one of the following:
* England:- A very beautiful, exceptional country in europe.
**English:-
People living in England or belonging to it.
The Editor/Publisher/Writer/blah blab blab wishes to inform the readers that he means no serious harm through this writeup.Serious!. All I want to do is to have fun and laugh well. If any of the characters from the writeup want to sue me, I would like to inform them.. sue me now whilst I haveth money. Stand not on the order of your going /but go at once.(That's what Shakespeare said to his maid servant when he wanted to pee ,but was ashamed of her presence.)
The Writer wishes to inform that the following is an entirely non-fictional topic and any lack of resemblance is totally a matter of coincidence and we regret that.
The following are descriptions of some of the many aquaintances of mine from school.